Three scams aimed at older adults, and why shame keeps families in the dark

A local news investigation recently profiled a 92-year-old woman and her daughter, Gail, who calls her mother every month with the same gentle reminder: do not answer calls from numbers you do not recognize. It is a small ritual, and it points at something bigger. According to the FBI, hundreds of millions of dollars are stolen from trusting seniors every year, and much of it could be prevented if families knew what to watch for, and if victims did not feel too ashamed to speak up.

An FBI agent with two decades on these cases put it plainly: older adults tend to be trusting, sometimes less familiar with how scams work online, and they often have the thing scammers want most, a lifetime of savings. That combination makes them a preferred target, not an accidental one.

Romance scams

Still one of the most financially devastating schemes aimed at older adults, costing more than $432 million in a single recent year. They often start on a dating site or on social media, and they get easier to pull off when someone has shared a lot publicly: names of children and grandchildren, hobbies, daily routines. All of it becomes material for building a convincing, personalized relationship before money ever comes up.

Tech support pop-ups

The second starts with a warning that a computer has been locked or compromised, urging the person to call a number on the screen. Once they call, the scammer poses as support and uses the call to extract personal or financial information, all while fixing a problem that was never real.

The grandparent call

The third runs on fear and urgency. A caller claims to be a grandchild in trouble, arrested and needing bail right now, often instructing the person to buy gift cards and read off the codes. The panic of hearing that someone you love is in danger is used deliberately to short-circuit any pause for verification.

The advice from law enforcement is simple, even if it is hard to remember in the moment. Hang up, then call the family member directly on a number you already have, never one the caller gave you.

Why so many cases go unreported

The most sobering point in the investigation is that shame, not confusion, is what keeps victims silent. Many know something happened and do not want to tell anyone, which means family members are usually the last to find out, long after money has moved.

The recommendation is to build habits that close the gap: periodic check-ins on a parent's computer and accounts, and a shared understanding that unfamiliar calls go unanswered unless verified. Gail's monthly phone call is exactly that habit in practice.

The limit of a good habit

Habits like Gail's help, but they depend on someone remembering the advice in the exact moment a scammer is manufacturing pressure and fear, which is precisely when it is hardest to think clearly. Nobody should have to feel ashamed to bring it into the light afterward.